Personal Narratives, Strengths and Gratitude
This is a piece that I wrote for one of our newsletters in 2021.
“A life story is written in chalk, not ink, and it can be changed” - Julia Beck
During the various lockdowns I have been doing a lot of creative writing and it has trigged my curiosity about how our own personal narrative informs the decisions and life-choices that we make.
I firmly believe that we are the sum total of the stories that we tell our selves and that these narratives can enable and hold us back in equal measure.
The narrative that we create in our own mind is mash up of our own stories and those that we have absorbed from important people in our life. This can help or hinder us, depending on the message contained in the narrative. I have listed some examples from parents, care-givers, teachers, family members, friends, employers or colleagues that you may have allowed to seep into your own personal narrative.
You should be good
You should sacrifice more
You should put me first
You should be loyal
You should be a success
You should show your love in a particular way
You should keep the peace
You are a disappointment
You are not good enough
You should try harder
Do you recognise any in your own story?
Julia Beck’s Atlantic article “Story of My Life: How Narrative Creates Personality" is a long read, but explores personal narratives very well.
If you are in the (TLDR) Too Long Didn’t Read camp, Beck finishes with the message of hope I have quoted at the top of this newsletter.
“A life story is written in chalk, not ink, and it can be changed”
If like me you are curious about your own narrative, take some time to pay attention to it.
Spend thirty minutes listing exploring the ideas, beliefs, and assumptions that underpin the stories that you tell yourself. Be kind to yourself and try to take a dispassionate view and ask yourself some simple but powerful questions.
Where did this idea, belief or assumption come from?
Was the source trustworthy and credible or did they have their own agenda?
Are these ideas, beliefs or assumptions in line with the life you want to lead?
What would happen if you discarded or ignored them?
What new stories can you tell yourself that would help you achieve what you want?
If this exercise was helpful, I recommend you do it several times a year and change your narrative to suit your needs, not others.
Would you like us to run a workshop or team event to explore these ideas? Get in touch.
